one piece at a time
by champion lyra
Summary: Jude and Cardan learn to take off each other's armor, one piece at a time. —CardanJude.


**Notes**

...oops? I know I should be updating _link restart _right about now, and I promise that's coming in the next week or so, but, uh, surprise? I binge read this series in two days and I've been just as quickly working my way through every piece of fic there is of these two, so yeah, a bit obsessed. The last time a book ship got me _this _good was Feyre/Rhys, and even they weren't quite as perfectly my type lol.

But anyways, if you're new here, hello, I hope you enjoy this! I kinda spit this out in a few sittings when I could, and I'm sure I'll write more for them in the future!

It's been out for awhile now, but just in case: **Queen of Nothing spoilers ahead, **most are pretty mild but this is **post-series**. Thanks!

* * *

"I'm surprised," Jude said, a startlingly honesty in her voice. It was something she'd been trying to get better at - being honest - at least when it came to Cardan. The High King. Her _husband_, somehow. "I never expected you to like pizza enough to want to come back."

There were a lot of things that surprised her about Cardan, though. When she'd found out from Nicasia that he'd helped some of the human servants out of Hollow Hall, she hadn't really known what to think of it. Maybe he _had _always wanted her to like him. Maybe he really did always have an appreciation for mortal culture, even before he married into it.

Cardan shrugged, picking up another slice with the ease and grace only a king could have. "It matters not where deliciousness comes from," he told her, taking a bite before continuing. "And besides, the mortal world is fascinating in its own right."

In the back of her mind, Jude saw the very human book that she'd once stolen right from his room in Hollow Hall. She'd been much more preoccupied with Sophie, that night, and with the piece of paper littered with nothing but her name, that she'd nearly forgotten about the book itself. She hummed, deciding not to give him a response to that, and took another bite of her own slice, as well.

When they sat there together, in the pizza shop, Cardan wearing normal clothes Vivi had bought for him, she could almost imagine that normal life she had pushed aside. The other girl, from the other world, that she never got a chance to become. No longer did she think of that girl with a panic deep in her chest. That girl, who would've been so powerless, wouldn't have _needed _the kind of power Jude craved. That Jude had _gotten_. She understood that, now, though it had taken living in the mortal world herself again to figure it out.

"I almost came looking for you here," Cardan said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over them. "When you didn't answer a single one of my letters, I mean."

Jude rolled her eyes. "I told you, I never _got _any letters," she reminded him with a wave of her free hand, unable to help herself from correcting him. "Why didn't you?"

"Come looking for you?" He paused, and though he was looking at her, Jude felt like Cardan was actually looking miles and miles away. She knew, now, how hard her exile actually _was _for him - how he had expected her to come back, angry and scathing but be _back_ \- and she still wasn't sure how she felt about that. "I didn't want to make that decision for you," he finally settled on, bringing his focus back to the present. "If you had decided you preferred the company of mortals, who was I to stop you?"

Putting her pizza slice down, she mulled over his words. A thousand different answers came to her head - he was the High King, of course, and he very well could've stopped her if that had actually been what happened. However, after the serpent incident, Jude felt she understood where he was coming from. Holding that golden bridle, being so close to having him _live _but not really, Jude understood. It was the first time, really, she realized she didn't actually want to control Cardan. She wanted to love him as she was, as he was.

That was a bit heavier of a conclusion than she had hoped to arrive at. Despite having been almost six months since that incident, the passing of time hadn't made it any easier on her heart. And while she was working on the whole _honesty _thing, she still had a long, long ways to go. They both did.

"What did your letters say, anyways?" She asked, blurting out another question that had been lurking around in her head. The idea of Cardan writing out pleas for her to come back to Faerie seemed ridiculous in itself, but by the way his face was slowly filling with color, she wasn't sure _what _to think.

He coughed into his own free hand a bit awkwardly. "It's nothing I haven't already told you," Cardan said, not meeting her eyes.

Jude knew he wasn't saying any more because he couldn't lie about the contents. One good thing, she she supposed, about marrying a faerie. "Fine, fine, don't tell me," she said, but her voice was light instead of heavy or irritated. "I'll get it out of you some day, though."

Cardan smiled at her, then; so bright it was almost hard to look at. She was still getting used to the way he looked at her, like she held the answers to everything in the universe. "I don't doubt you will, wife."

* * *

It should've been nice, really, to have the day off for once. No revel to make an appearance at, no political talk needing to be held, no squabbles to end. But for Jude, no work was almost _more _work. She was still coming to terms with the fact that she no longer had to watch her back after every step.

The people in her Court _liked _her, now. Not only as their High Queen, but just as someone they respected. They had sworn themselves to both her _and _Cardan, even without the magic of the blood crown compelling them. All her life, since she'd been stolen away into this magic world, had been spent trying to find her place in everything. Find a place to fit in.

It had taken a bit longer and a bit more pain than she would've originally liked to get there, but now she had it.

"Can you stop pacing," Cardan said, forcing her instantly out of her reverie. "I know relaxation isn't exactly in your dictionary, but it _is _in mine."

Jude shot her husband a look, but stopped in her tracks nonetheless. "I do _too _know how to relax," she argued, even though she knew it was a lie the moment the words left her lips. "Sitting around doing nothing just isn't relaxing for me, that's all."

Pushing himself into a more upright position from the bed, Cardan gave her his own look; full of amusement and something else Jude couldn't quite place. "Really now," he said, shaking his head. His hair was a mess - completely in disarray from their late night before. "Why don't you come back to bed, then, and show me how you like to relax?"

It was an invitation if she'd ever heard one, but for some reason, she almost didn't want to take him up on it. Maybe she was more stressed by the lack of things to do than she'd originally thought. "Can you just…" she started, then trailed off, shaking her head.

_Can you just hold me for a bit, _she'd wanted to say, but that would've been stupid. She was _Jude_. Jude Duarte Greenbriar, proud and strong and capable. There were a few times, though _very _few and far between, that she had let herself be that vulnerable around him. She hated feeling weak, even in the presence of someone she knew she could trust with her whole heart. It was a feeling that hadn't quite made itself at home within her, yet.

"Come here, Jude," Cardan said, softer and with a completely different look in his eyes, now. The kind of look that made her want to run straight to him. "Come here."

With careful steps, Jude made her way back to the bed they shared, sitting down before she had a chance to reconsider. With barely even letting a second pass, Cardan wrapped himself around her, dragging her down onto the mattress once more.

Slowly, slowly, he started to trace shapes into her back, underneath the shirt she'd thrown on after waking up. The touches were light, almost painfully so, but with each pattern Cardan drew Jude felt more and more of the tension seep out of her, until she was practically a puddle on his naked chest.

Pressing kisses into her hair, Jude could feel Cardan smiling. "Thank you," he said, though she could hear the underlying words that came with it.

It was still so hard for them to say their true feelings. The first time Cardan had ever told her, point blank, that he was in love with her, he went and got himself turned into a serpent and she was forced to cut off his serpentine head.

That didn't mean they weren't aware of how the other felt, though. At least, Jude hoped so. Cardan had made his feelings explicitly clear to her, since they had reunited after her exile, and she tried her best to do the same. It wasn't easy for her, and in a rare bout of honesty, she had admitted to him once that she wasn't sure if it would ever be.

They'd long since accepted how damaged they both were, and that was just another thing Cardan had come to terms with. He had a much easier time than her with that, it often seemed. Some days it was still almost impossible to believe that her childhood tormentor had become not only the High King, but also willingly married her and told her in no uncertain terms that it was a marriage out of love - the political gain was just an added bonus.

"I love you," Jude whispered aloud, surprising them both.

Cardan didn't reply with words. Instead, the arms holding her to his chest grew tighter against her, a content sigh escaping his lips.

* * *

"Cardan," Jude started slowly, one eyebrow lifting up at the sight before her. "What is this?"

It had been a long day of political maneuvering and she was _exhausted_. Whatever patience she might've usually had for her husband's antics had been thrown out the window hours and hours ago. Cardan, however, seemed to have not gotten the message. Instead of giving her a frown or even trying to explain what she was looking at, he just motioned for her to come join him on the floor.

On the floor of their room was plates of all different human foods, littered about without a care in the world. It was honestly like looking at something out of a child's wildest dreams - everything one could imagine from Chinese to pizza to cake covered the floor.

"I thought you probably hadn't had time for dinner, since I certainly didn't," he said, patting the space next to him again impatiently, "so I had one of your knights go into the mortal world and grab us something."

With a sigh, Jude finally gave in and plopped down next to her husband with a _thud_. She couldn't deny that she was starving; he'd been right about the fact that she hadn't had dinner. He'd left the meeting a bit early, and she hadn't thought much of it then, but she supposed this was what he'd been up to.

Looking at the cartons of chicken and rice hungrily, it took more will power than Jude thought she had at the moment not to just dig in. First, though, she turned to Cardan. "Why human food, though?" She asked curiously, eyes still on the food. "And why did you use one of _my _knights?"

Cardan waved off her complaint. "She was around when I had the idea," he said, as if that was somehow a decent explanation. "And because I thought if pizza was that delicious, other human delicacies must be just as good. I wanted to try them, but we've been terribly busy as of late."

_That _was certainly true. It felt like every day was a new problem to deal with. Truthfully, it wasn't anything they weren't used to, but now that there was no imminent threat coming their way it felt so… asinine. Boring.

When she didn't say anything and didn't move to grab food, Cardan paused in his own eating and frowned at her. "Were you in the mood for something else?"

Grabbing the dish he'd left open for her, Jude shook her head, beginning to pile on all sorts of different things to it, most of which she hadn't had since she was a child. "No," she told him, giving him a brief and tired smile. "I just wasn't expecting this, that's all."

Cardan moved a little closer to her, so there legs were touching. "That's called a surprise, wife," he said with a light snort. "I don't get the upper hand on you often. Allow me to enjoy my victory."

Rolling her eyes, Jude couldn't help but give him a playful nudge with her shoulder. "Don't get used to it." Her fork wagged at him, the piece of chicken threatening to fall to the floor with the movement. "It won't happen again anytime soon."

Her husband smiled, that wicked smile she had grown to love so thoroughly. "We'll see."

* * *

"Stop staring," Jude hissed, smacking her husband's arm. "It's weird."

It wasn't really that weird. Her sister had just given birth, after all, and even ignoring their duties as the High King and Queen to come bless the child, it was a rare sight in Faerie. Jude distinctly remembers the conversation she and Oriana had once had, back when Oriana believed her to be sleeping with Prince Dain.

There was something about the way Cardan was staring, however, that put Jude a little on edge. Her husband had never had any trouble telling the two apart, much to her chagrin, but the look on his face as they stood by the bedside of her twin sister and new niece spoke the words her husband did not.

Just as easily as he could tell them apart, he could picture Jude in Taryn's position - newborn baby in her arms, peace on her face despite the difficulties of childbirth. It wasn't a conversation Jude was ready to have just yet, and she'd known this was a possibility from the moment her sister had first went into labor. It was a selfish though, she knew, but not one that she could help. She'd long since gotten used to that; being selfish.

Besides the fact that pregnancy had just seemed _miserable_, with the throwing up and random cravings and inability to move around as one normally would, becoming a parent was not something Jude was ready for. She'd barely had enough time to interact with her own; their memories fading more and more each day. And of course, her captive parents hadn't exactly been good examples, either. Madoc aside, Oriana had been cold and calculating; always keeping her and her sisters at arms reach and as far away from Oak as she could in their childhood.

Ignoring her own issues stemming from lack of proper parental guidance, Cardan was an even worse case, in a way. While for many years, Madoc had loved her and her sisters the best he could, Cardan hadn't even gotten _that_. His mother hadn't cared about him at all, and had been sent away while he was still so young that even if she had it wouldn't have mattered. His father, old and with five other heirs that he cared for more, had barely spoken two sentences to him his entire life.

Cardan rolled his eyes, swatting her hand away. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to do, here?" He asked, that smug tone Jude hated that she _didn't _hate creeping up in his voice. "Look at the child for awhile and then say some flowery words, before the new mother succumbs to her exhaustion?"

Sometimes, Jude hated that faeries couldn't lie. Nothing he said was _wrong_, but he knew exactly why she'd told him to stop. She knew he knew from the way that he looked at her afterwards, like he'd solved a puzzle that had been keeping him up at night for weeks on end.

From the bed, Taryn laughed a little, and Jude turned to watch her mirror shift the baby in her arms carefully. "While I'm honored you both came all this way, I am growing rather tired."

Jude furrowed her brows, moving away from her husband to get closer to her sister. "You're my sister," she reminded her. "I would've come for this no matter my duties."

The bad blood between them hadn't completely evaporated, but over the months, it had turned from blistering to scabbed. Still there, still sore, but healing. Some times were certainly harder than others, but Jude knew she would've hated herself even more so had she missed the birth of her first niece. Taryn, too, likely would've held it against her, and she didn't want the chasm between them to grow any further than it already had.

Cardan hung back while she examined her niece up close, but Jude feel his eyes on her back with every move she made. "You did well, Taryn," she said quietly, trying her hardest to push the words out from her lips with enough force her sister would be able to hear them. "What's her name?"

Taryn smiled at that. A tired smiled, but a smile nonetheless. "I think I'll name her Lucy," she said, moving the sleeping child in her arms again. "After that other Beatles song."

Though she couldn't see his face from her position, Jude was sure Cardan had a look of confusion on. Jude, however, snorted. "How oddly sentimental," she said, rolling her eyes. "Anyways, Cardan, let's leave them to rest. We've stuck around long enough, and Vivi still hasn't gotten in yet."

They hadn't actually been in the room for very long, but Taryn, thankfully, didn't fight her sister on that. Cardan looked a bit put out from being practically forced to leave, but let his wife drag him away regardless. Jude was glad for it. The longer they stayed in Taryn's presence, the more Cardan would want to have that conversation with her, and the more she thought about it, the more uncomfortable by the notion she became.

And even more so than that, the fact that Taryn had decided to name her daughter _Lucy_ was grating on her, for some reason. She couldn't really remember her mother ever telling her outright that she'd been named after the song, but Jude was positive she'd heard it plenty when she was a child. Not to mention in the few months she'd spent in Vivi's apartment in the mortal world, she'd had plenty of humans say _like that song? _when she'd have to tell them her name, at places like coffee shops and restaurants.

She and her sister weren't there, yet. They shouldn't be, anyways, and if Taryn was hoping for that page to be turned while Jude was still stuck on it…

Jude frowned deeply, her grip on Cardan's wrist tightening.

"We don't have to talk about it," Cardan said, voice low and quiet in her ear as they slipped out of the room. Though she was caught off guard by his voice, Jude refused to show it. "Not yet, anyways. But someday, I'd like to, if you'd let me."

_Someday_. She wasn't the kind of person who was good at making promises. Living in Elfhame with the ability to lie made sure of that. Still, though, when it came to her husband, Jude wanted it to mean something.

"Someday," she agreed, nodding her head.

It wasn't a promise, not in the traditional sense. It wasn't even a promise to do more than just _talk _about it, but it was something. And judging by the look on Cardan's face, something was certainly better than nothing.

* * *

**Notes**

Thanks very much for reading, and I hope y'all enjoyed! Sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to lately, on discord, here, AO3, or otherwise;; I'm moving on Thursday and I've been crazy busy trying to meet that deadline, but even if I don't respond right away to comments, _please _know I read every single one and they always make my stressful days better :')


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